About

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Feeling Broken

On the floor gasping for breath and bracing for the next wave of panic to pass through my body I felt broken. I was not the mother I wanted to be, I was not even a functioning being. I had had symptoms of anxiety and depression before I had my daughter but it wasn’t until postpartum that I knew what true terror felt like. Uncontrollable adrenaline surges that kept me awake more than my newborn did. An inability to know what feelings where the product of the chemicals flowing through my body and what was real. The constant, exhausting feeling of being chased off a cliff over and over again. That’s what I felt and still feel. It’s still a constant battle albeit less frequent. 

 

 

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wanting it to go away 

Grieving the Person I Should Be.

 

How had I come to this point in my life? I was supposed to be the mother of six strapping children. The one who had 4 soccer games, 2 swim meets, a dance recital and a piano recital all in a days work and gets it all done with perfectly quaffed hair and makeup, and a beautifully clean house. Who was this woman who sat holding one tiny infant crying all day (me not the infant)? What happened to the ideal life I had planned? I really thought that I could be that person, I felt that I should be that person. But mental illness took over and I was barely even making it through a day just keeping my baby and myself alive. 

When a person has a physical chronic illness we react compassionately, trying to make the person feel comfortable and loved. But when we hear that someone has chronic mental illness we shy away from the awkward stigma that makes us feel so uncomfortable. We don’t know how to care for the person who is mentally ill. And often times we have this image in our head of some gruesome, drooling creature that is somehow not human anymore. Or we think of the psychopath running around committing unspeakable acts. You see, the difference between a bodily ill and a mental ill is the actions that are created by each circumstance. Let me explain, a physically ill person is predictable. Usually their movements are slow, they rest a lot and can be taken care of in a predictable, controlled way. Mental illness is unpredictable. It is scary, and it can cause someone to act in ways that are neither controlled nor anticipated. With so many variables it’s no wonder why it is so hard to break through the stigma of mental illness.

According to the World Health Organization, “One in four people in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their lives. Around 450 million people currently suffer from such conditions, placing mental disorders among the leading causes of ill-health and disability worldwide.” 

Feeling hopeless about my condition my husband and I prayed for relief. My husband was inspired one night to rub lavender oil on my feet. At that point in my life I had never used an essential oil and honestly was very skeptical as to it’s ability to do anything. But I was amazed that within a few minutes of application I was relaxed and asleep for the first time in a long time. It didn’t cure all of my anxiety symptoms but it helped so much to calm me down that I soon became intrigued by the thought of cultivating my own lavender.  

The idea was planted in my mind that I wanted to help others find that relief I felt in that moment so over the next couple of years we planned and plotted and started Sweet Olive Lavender Farms. Researching everything we could get our hands on for how to grow and use lavender we now want to share that information with you. 

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Finding Relief In Creativity

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I have had symptoms of anxiety since I was a teenager. The symptoms get worse as I get older so I’ve acquired a who range of coping skills to combat the issues.  Everyone is different and what works for one may not work for another. There are also different levels of anxiety and depression, if you have severe mental health issues seek a medical professional’s help. We offer coping methods and at home solutions to stress. Over the years I’ve been inspired to try new methods and ideas for mental illness and I want to share my knowledge with you. There are so many ways to relieve symptoms of anxiety and depression. My desire is that here on the blog you will find hope and relief from your stress through the information and ideas we share every week.

My passion is to provide you with different approaches that I have learned over the years of coping with anxiety and depression.

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Every Month we share Information about our Lavender Farm and all the projects we do with our lavender, the Essential Oils we make and their benefits and uses, Recipes from our farm, and Creative Relaxation Solutions. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out on the newest posts and ideas we share every week.

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Leslie Gibson

Founder

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Let’s Get Going

Create Beauty

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Here’s what’s happening at Sweet Olive Farms. 

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View all the newest trends and fashion in lavender wedding style

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A healthy diet can improve your mental health. Our farm fresh recipes are mouthwatering creations you can make at home. 

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Beautiful craft ideas, lavender , bath & body recipes 

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The art of relaxation. Tips & tricks for natural stress relief.  

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